In the nothing

Here not there, where is here
Id'e rather be there, but where is there?
What is there, why would I be happier there
and why am I so damn sad over here?
Why can't I see the sun when it's shining
Will the darkness ever fade to dawn?
Will the cigarettes ever stop coming
and the smoke stop climbing and chocking and killing
and lighter working hard
to keep me a-flamed
Would it be so there?  In the mystical there
My me is dying here.
Would me still be me over there?
In between two worlds
neither here nor there
I am in the nothing

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Fireflies in bloom
alive in a dark place
lighting up velvet waters
fire dripped tears in long trickling streams
steam of heat and flames along desert trails
a hush of wind
Falling
Rising
Burbling
An endless circle of dews

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It came and went like breathing
Like day and night
Only my heart is an eclipse
Dreading the moment of revealing
That I am just a coward
Afraid of my own shadow